Saturday, February 18, 2012

A Poisoned Friendship

Back in the 1970s in San Francisco I met someone at one of my first jobs who I became friends with, fast friends, you know the kind. We were friends for over twenty years. We partied together, took trips together, supported one another, and so on. This person even lent me $500 to help me purchase my first home. I felt lucky to have a friend like that. We were friends through thick and thin. The office politics were rampant back then and it seems politics never do go by the wayside. We enjoyed quite a nice lifestyle in San Francisco, the restaurants, the concerts, the neighborhoods including the painted ladies. After all we were friends.

Years went by and I got married, then divorced and we were still friends. Then I married Gary and we were still friends. This person used to travel up from San Francisco to visit Gary and I in our home in the mountains of California for weekends and we'd talk about old times, have BBQs, take trips in the back country, and so on. You know we'd do things, things that friends do. 

Then Gary and I moved to Arkansas and we still kept in touch but not as close as before. While Gary and I were living Arkansas we heard from this person after some time had gone by. This person told us they'd fallen upon hard times. We invited this person to move in with us in Arkansas to help them get back on their feet. I was influential in getting them a job there and helping them along. A few months went by and one evening this person poisoned me. I fell ill and still suffer ill effects from that circumstance.

This person also stole computer files from us. When I asked them about it, they left without a word. I remember saying "Please, please, we're all we've got in this world, lets talk about this". Really isn't that all there is, the friendship, the coming together, the humanness. Imagine my chagrin when later Gary told me this person had asked him to take a trip to Europe without me. Perhaps this person was hoping I'd succumb from the poisoning. Neither Gary nor I ever heard from this person again. At the time I wondered what had happened, what had gone wrong, what could I have done differently. No communication transpired and all I was left with was an empty feeling.

Flash forward to now. This person tried to contact me recently as if nothing ever happened in the past. Twelve years later they have tried to contact me. They don't realize I know they tried to poison me. They don't realize I know they tried to lure Gary away. I can't believe them ignoring their actions, especially since I asked them to talk about what happened before they left. Them tossing our house keys on the ground at my feet as they drove away. Essentially they tossed me aside without a word. I wonder how it can be so easy for folks to toss friends aside?

Then again I'm not surprised. Suffice it to say I have come upon far too many instances of similar situations. Folks toss away friendships long or short as if they mean nothing. I don't understand the intricacies of politics and innuendos. Basically I've experienced first hand too many circumstances in my life most of which you'd probably be shocked to learn, but those are other stories.

I speak from my heart when I say I wish no one any ill. That's about all I have to give. As I move about my life in this universe I pick up vibes and feelings. I've found I'm almost always correct in intrepreting the feelings or vibes I get from situations and people I encounter. So I hope you'll bear with me in this tangent this week and know that it stems from circumstances which have surfaced beyond my control. The human mind is complicated and not easily understood. History repeats itself, but perhaps it can be stopped in it's tracks. I'm not perfect, far from it. But I try to live true each day.

This is a true story and an allegory for many more. Some friendships like the poisoned one are too far gone to salvage but others are not. Communication is the key. Let's all be friends and be kind to one another. Thanks for reading and for all your comments.


  1. sounds like you have had some really tough times. I hope they are all behind you now... sending good vibes from down under..

  2. Oh Linda, that's awful! I'm glad you are safe, and have the sense not to give this creep another chance!
    This is a case for a real-life unfriending.

  3. Hi Anna, thanks, well it makes for a good story, perhaps I could write a book or a screen play. Ha.

    Hi Lori, thanks, yeah I am not sure if this person was always like that or changed later in life due to poor circumstances they had, but some folks are best left behind for sure.

  4. I am deeply shocked - the person was trying to poison you? - For real?

    I've only tried friendships, where "the friend" stole your good energy.

    Where I felt drained and depressed after having spent time with the person.

    It had to end so I stopped to see the person.

    Think you need to let the person know, how you feel and why there is no place in your life for them again. - If of course you can do that without risking too much by doing so.

    Keep safe!

  5. Hi Gabi, thanks, no I don't want to take a risk with that person, too much time and too much potential for scariness. I can't actually prove they tried to poison me, but yes Gary and I both know they did.

    I know what you mean about folks stealing your good energy and most times it is best to let them go too unless they will change their behavior, since life is too short to be depressed and drained, too many real life things like lack of jobs, money, poor health are enough to deal with without folks being mean, for sure.

  6. she sounds ill - mentally ill and all you can hope is that she has gotten some help. People sometime change and sometimes that change is due to the brain not being able to function.
    You are probably best to stay away but let us all hope that she is getting some help.

  7. Hi Meredith, thanks, yes sometimes folks do change and the brain is at fault and that makes their actions hard to understand, hopefully they will get some help to try and understand their behavior, not communicating and going behind the person's back is what I can't fathom.

  8. It's important to let go sometimes, especially when the person or people drain your energy. I call them energy vampires and I've had my own experiences along these lines. It's passive-aggressive behavior at its worst and it becomes essential to your own well-being to let them go.

    You've had some interesting experiences. I really like your image on THINK. Very important to remember. Kindness can make all the difference.

  9. Hi Teresa, thanks, you have hit the nail on the head, energy vampires make me spend too much time wondering what is happening, when I could be being productive, just let them go if they continue in that vein. Yes kindness goes a long way, found that image on fb and borrowed it, others via the net.

  10. Just wow. While I hope this person has had help and is in a better place, they sound dangerous and someone to keep far away from. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You're a strong person to remain open and positve in your life after such a betrayal. Wishing you peace.

  11. I think everyone, at one time or another, experiences the pain of a deep friendship turned sour. My mother insisted the seeds were always there, just that circumstances had to develop for them to grow. I'm beginning to think she was right. These people have flung you on an emotional roller-coaster for no reason than to feed some sickness within them. While it always tugs at the heart when one thinks of what was, it's best they're out of your life. Keep the good memories and move on. I wouldn't be in contact with them. These are not people who respond positively to kindness, except as a means to get what they want. Good luck, hon.

  12. Well, that is scary to think someone tried to poison you. It takes courage to push them away and keep them away. Glad you're safe now.

  13. My dad used to say, "the ole leopard don't ever change its spots". I think people do change, if they really, really want to. But, in most cases they don't. A real change would be if she had apologized and acknowledged her wrong doing...but, it sounds like she just wanted you to "forget" the incidents. mmmm...thinkin I'd for sure keep this person far far away. ~~~very scary~~~

  14. So sorry this all happened to you. No contact is best. Spend that wonderful energy you have on your true loves.......

  15. that's quite a story. i agree with Meredith, that it probably is a sign of mental illness. best to not respond to this person and hope they have gotten help. she sounds too dangerous to get involved with again. you know in your heart that you did everything you could to help her.

  16. They say people never change, but sometimes they do. I truly believe that it's as painful and confusing for them as it is for you. But when that the change is so profound, all you can do is distance yourself. Stay safe!

  17. Terrible! What she did to you is unforgivable! I would not let her back into my life.

  18. I also commend your courage in talking about such a disturbing event! It's so easy to hide your feelings and let them eat away at you!

  19. Holy crap Linda! The post title was interesting enough but that whole story makes for a reality movie!! POISONED?! You can't make that kind of weirdness up -sounds like this person not only "fell on hard times" but also had a touch of mental illness and/or addiction issues. Geesh, you want to THINK you know a person after all that time!! Thank God your inner spirit and GOODNESS prevailed.

  20. This person has serious mental problems and you are smart to steer clear. They need professional help and sound dangerous. Do be careful.

  21. Thankfully, you have the wisdom to keep this person out of your life forever. No good could come from giving her another chance, esp. if she ignores her involvement in what she did to you. I had a somewhat similar friend..she poisoned me in many little underhanded ways, but never physically. She tried to lure my husband away as well. After years of silence, I got a card from her a few weeks ago....asking why I had missed Christmas and her birthday!!!! As if nothing in the past had happened. Too strange for me!

  22. Truly lose a friend. I've lost my brother under similar circumstances. Too sad to lose anyone-friend or family-especially over things that could be avoided through good communication. However, my mom always warned me of the "horrible, green-eyed monster, Jealousy" and I believe she was right. Jealousy in many forms can be evil!
    Heal well and live strong!

  23. Hi Barbara, thanks, sometimes I think folks are threatened by strong people and little do they know what the person is really like inside, even strong people have feelings.

    Hi Kittie, thanks, yes a friendship turned sour, so sad, a little communication goes a long way instead of stabbing someone in the back figuraively thank goodness, yes as a means of a way to get what they want.

    Hi Turquoisemoon, thanks, yes far away, they wanted me to forget. Ha.

    Hi Charlene, thanks, I am getting a lot more done, writing here on the blog does help.

    Hi Michele, thanks, yes I've done what I could now it's up to them, but will stay clear for sure.

    Hi Ms. Sparrow, thanks, yes stay clear, no sense exposing myself to that kind of person.

    Hi Cindy, thanks, yes it does sound movie like when I read my own post, writing it I wondered, does this seem real and yet it was. Weird.

    Hi Barbara, thanks, well although I not glad to hear what happened to you, I am glad to hear about it to know that other folks have experienced this too, there are just some mean and very ill people in the world, isn't here.

    Hi Marian, thanks, yes truly sad, so sorry about your brother, I know full well how painful that can be, due to other family members of mine, but those are other stories, yes communication is the key, if only folks would avail themselves of that, some are just too stubborn or who knows what to communicate.


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