The past three days I was laid up writhing in pain and couldn't get out of bed due to several medical problems. I finally went to the emergency room yesterday. Since I couldn't walk or sit I had to go by ambulance. I tried to hold out so I didn't have to pay the fee of an ambulance ride since my insurance has a $10,000 deductible, but I just couldn't do it. After tests and a few pain shots, I'm back home and I'm feeling a bit better today.
I know most people don't talk about the negative things in blogs, but don't we all have highs and lows? While I was lying in bed, all I could think of was the mounting bills which are sure to come, Gary having to take up the slack, my inability to work on my art, missing my painting class, missing my women's group meeting, missing the homeowners association meeting, and not being able to go the market to sell the item's we already had loaded in my car and his truck.
As I was being hauled away in the ambulance our neighbor happened to come over and gave Gary this piece of art he got at a garage sale because he was thinking of me at the time. He was the person who named my two paintings Pinball Machine at our wine tasting party. This same neighbor has had more than seven heart surgeries and I am sure he has more problems than I do and yet he was thinking of me. I am humbled and so appreciative of his generosity.
While I was in the ER a woman in her late 80s was in the room next to me and she found out she had a cyst on her liver. She was thankful she didn't have something seriously wrong with her. After she was discharged she came into my room and told me she had had several back and neck operations in the past, had lost her husband in September and was thankful she got to take care of him for six months. Then she said, "Never give up honey, things will get better". A perfect stranger took the time to come and cheer me up. I was so grateful.
Today was the first day I was able to get to the computer and I read Meredith lost her sister Lee and I was stunned. Meredith also recently lost her brother. Here I was feeling sorry for myself and the hand I've been dealt. I'm reminded there are so many others who have greater problems than my own. My heart goes out to Meredith and Mark and their family. I was glad I had a chance to meet Lee when I was in North Carolina in October and see some of her beautiful tile work. You can read Meredith's post about Lee here. Dear Meredith and Mark and family, May the Peace of the Sea Be with You and also to Lee on her new journey.
Linda, so glad you are feeling better and hope a full recovery comes to you. It is humanly all right to think of ourselves and our sufferance at a certain moment in which we feel sick, down or negative. As long as those are not the only thoughts that run through our minds of course. Yes, life is hard at times, but life is also beautiful. Sometimes in the most insignificant things we can find beauty, peace and happiness. I am glad that lady came out to you and gave you a little cheer, that in itself is something to be happy about.
ReplyDeleteAs I always remind myself when I am down in the dumps: tomorrow is a new day. And 90 percent of the time next day is better. If it's not, I repeat: tomorrow is a new day. And that is the hope that keeps me going. Feel better and I'm sending hugs your way my friend.
Dear Yolanda, thanks, yes, I most always think tomorrow is a new day, but as you said better than me, it is normal to think negatively when in pain, but I also thought of a painting I want to do while I was lying in bed, so some positive came from my pain. Thanks so much, I am much better today. I am ever so sorry about Meredith, Mark and their family loosing Lee so quickly.
ReplyDeleteLinda, This is a beautiful post, with your compassion for others coming through loud and clear. I trust the inspiration you had for the painting carries you right on into healing. We all have those days, those times. I'm glad you Knew you could share it with us. Have a good day!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling better. Sending you sunny blue skies your way.
ReplyDeleteLinda - I am so sorry you have been so sick. I hope that you are taking care of yourself and healing quickly.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very thoughtful post -- we were all stunned to learn of Lee's passing - so quickly after Jay.
Be strong!
Oh dear Linda, so sorry that you've been so ill. Take very good care of yourself and don't worry about anything else, right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Get well soon!
ReplyDeleteAlso, sorry to hear about Meredith's sister. I will keep her and her family in my prayers, too.
Hoping you are feeling better.
ReplyDeleteOh Linda, so sorry to read of your pain. I'm sending you healing thoughts so we can see what will be created from your painting classes and your new raku kiln! Hurry & be on the mend :o) I too was so sad to read about Lee -seems like it was way too fast. But I do believe with all things a greater power than I is in charge and all is well.
ReplyDeleteLinda, Thank you for this post. I've been feeling sorry for myself all day, because the lamb I'm bottle feeding has destroyed my mother's wicker rocking chair. She passed a few years ago and that lamb has ruined it. After reading your post, I "woke up" to other's pain and loss and am sure I'll get over my self pity. I feel ashamed of myself... Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that you've been in so much pain and hope you get better soon. I hope the bills are not mountainous and do not cause you concern (ha ha..but, I can hope). I'm so sorry for Meredith's loss. Just breaks your heart. I hope for you to heal quickly... I'm really sorry... xoxox
ReplyDeleteLinda, I'm so sorry to hear of your recent medical stuff, and all the pain you've been in. What are they going to be able to do for your back? Please take good care of yourself, resting as much as you can. I know it is hard not to worry about the medical expenses, having just been through that myself. Please feel all the healing energy your friends are sending you, and get better very soon.
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ReplyDeleteI do hope you are no longer in pain and are on the mend. It is so easy to let our problems consume us till we see what others are also going through.
ReplyDeleteAs for the medical bills, just pay something, it can be a small amount and as long as it is regular, they will leave you alone.
My sympathies to your friend who lost her sister.
Linda..thank you for the post..you are the stronghold on your rough sea at the moment...take your meds and rest :)..hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeletetomorrow is a new day. T.
Thinking of you and sending support~
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for your well wishes, I am doing so much better, I can't believe it, how can someone be in such pain and so low one day and a couple of shots and a couple of days later be almost fine again. I have no idea, although I had two nightmare last night with out-loud screaming. So in the back of my mind I must be hoping it doesn't happen again. I've decided I need to meditate and reduce my stress and make a concerted effort to relax and think only positive thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHi Teresa, thanks, I edited part of the story so it wasn't TMI believe it or not, but yes, I knew I could share.
ReplyDeleteHi Paula, thanks for your well wishes.
Hi Judy, thanks for your healing thoughts, yes stunned is the word, but if Lee didn't have to suffer long that I would hope for her having just went through pain.
Hi Marguerite, thanks for your thoughts, somehow I have to train myself not worry.
Hi Dennis, thanks for your thoughts.
Hi Cindy, thanks, I am doing much better and have so many things I want to do that being laid up adds to the pain I think, I have plans
Hi Turquoisemoon, thanks for sharing about your moms chair. I think there are people who can redo the chair, of course that doesn't help with the loss, hopefully that can be arranged. Believe me I had a lot of self pity going on while I was laid up, not productive for me at all, but pain or loss can be all consuming sometimes.
Hi Barbara, thanks, I guess we just have to say to ourselves, we'll do what we can and the rest will have to wait, it's easier for me to think that than to put into action sometimes, but I keep trying.
Hi Patti, thanks, another friend gave me that same advice about just paying a little at a time so we will do that.
Hi Trish, thanks, tomorrow was indeed a new day, miraculously so, I feel lucky.
Hi Kathy, thanks for your well wishes.
We hope you get to feeling better soon, Linda. I know your ready to get back to your work. We are sending well wishes your way.
ReplyDeletewas so bummed to hear about your trip to the ER and the pain you've been in. You'll be in my prayers. You are just amazing; always so encouraging to others. Oh, and I talk to myself--- and it works! not always easy to remember... peace and healing, my friend-
ReplyDeleteHi Jeff and Stephanie, thanks so much for your well wishes, I can't believe how I could be so miserable and now be fine, I hate thinking in the back of my mind it might happen again; one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteHi Amy, thanks for your thoughts and prayers, I swing back and forth, self pity and then guilt and thinking of others, what can I do, keep trying, Oh and Gary accuses me of talking to myself all the time, he used to say all gardeners talk to themselves, now he says all potters talk to themselves, Ha. Maybe just about everybody talks to themselves?
how did i miss this post? oh wait... it was because i myself was feeling crappy and sad, it must be that sort of week. i am glad you are feeling better and back on your feet. TGIF!!!!
ReplyDeleteI hope, hope, hope that you are feeling much better.
ReplyDeleteHi Michele, thanks, and thank goodness for blogs, keeps a bit of balance in our lives these days.
ReplyDeleteHi Patricia, thanks, yes I am better, am having to change a few things and am working on those.