What Sometimes Happens to Old Folks

What sometimes happens to old folks unfolded before our very eyes and there was little we could change or do. We've lived in our home for eight years and were friends with neighbors all that time. Gary and the husband went to lunch together periodically. We talked on the phone at least twice a week. We shared holiday gifts with each other. I would make pottery for them, and they would give us homemade cookies. I shared soups, stews, fresh vegetables, herbs, jellies, and jams with our neighbors. We shared the loss of several pets on both sides of the fence. We worried when their long-time dog died even though he was annoying because he barked a lot. They got concerned when they could hear me crying on the screen porch calling for our lost cat, Barney, who never came home.

At the beginning of March an ambulance came by. We weren't too worried because there had been several times an ambulance had come by before. Each time the husband had fallen down, and he couldn't get up. You see he'd been in a motorcycle accident and miraculously he'd survived the crash on the aptly named Blood Mountain. He'd been in a coma for four months and eventually came home, although crippled up in too many ways to list. But later that day the ambulance came again and then it came one more time. Apparently, the wife had had a mild stroke and with her congestive heart failure she was too weak to get out of bed.

So began a tale of the wife in the local hospital but with a good chance of a full recovery. But then the wife was transferred to another local hospital because the husband didn't want her transferred too far away because then he couldn't drive to visit her. At the second hospital the husband asked Gary to drive him to visit her. Gary agreed he'd take him. The next day the husband didn't call like he said he would. I said to Gary he should call or go over there, but he didn't.

Two days later another ambulance came by and the police as well. Gary went over to see what was happening. Apparently, the husband had accidentally taken too many pills and the daughter in Arizona had called him and knowing he was out of it, she had called an ambulance. The husband wasn't out of it too much, because he had the wherewithal to tell another neighbor to get a large sum of money out of a dresser drawer and put it in his safe, which the neighbor did. About that time Gary showed up. The husband tried to get the police to take the money, but they wanted nothing to do with the cash.

The husband was taken to the same hospital as the wife, but the hospital refused admittance due to his overdose, so he was sent to another hospital a distance away. The daughter in Arizona called us and was ecstatically giddy with the prospect her father had been taken away to a psych hospital. Talking to me on the phone for low many minutes and my being a complete stranger, I was mortified she was so giddy with delight. She elicited this sentiment at least three times in the long conversation and I could feel the vultures circling before the conversation even ended. I asked her to keep us informed because we'd been friends with her father and mother since we moved here, and she agreed. She never contacted us again except to have her husband call when her father was transferred to a VA hospital because they didn't know where he was, and we did. We did and she didn't; how is that even possible.

Meanwhile the son from Louisianna came to their home and immediately went to ask for the large sum of cash from the neighbor who had it in his safe. The neighbor gave up the cash and that was that. Mind you the son nor the daughter had even shown up when their mother was in the two hospitals, nary a word from them. The son took all his father's guns and ammunition, and away he went with all the cash. You have to realize this is the south and literally everyone, upwards of at least 85 percent, has a stash of guns and ammunition. In fact, in 2021 new gun owners numbered 53 million in the United States. Think of Ukraine, think of our own city riots, think of the crime statistics, a person might actually need a gun and ammo to defend themselves, their city, or their country.

Next thing you know the granddaughter showed up and was supposedly taking care of their dog and cat. One night on the coldest day of the winter the dog was barking and barking at 2:30 am and finally Gary went over and said the dog would freeze to death out of doors. The granddaughter said she couldn't get the dog to come in. Gary called the dog who knew him, and he got the dog in the house. After a few days the dog, who was the husband's constant companion, was loaded up into his truck and taken away. We wondered about the wife's cat. Then we kept seeing the cat at our house. After about two weeks the granddaughter came back without the dog. The neighbors had a pet entrance into their basement where the dog and cat could get in for their food and beds. Foolishly we assumed the cat was getting food and shelter. Little did we know.

When the granddaughter was gone, we noticed the cat coming over to our house every day. We wondered who was feeding the cat or who even cared. Finally, we noticed the cat was sleeping under our overturned wheelbarrow behind our shed. The cat would come out in the morning when we called her, it was then we realized the cat was kicked out of her home and was not being fed. We started feeding the cat and put a bed under the overturned wheelbarrow for the cat to keep warm and out of the rain and snow.

The first time we fed the cat a can of wet food, she gobbled it up in a frenzy, the whole can. The same thing, again and again, day after day. We realized the cat was starving since there was little to eat on the coldest day in the dead of winter for a domestic cat. We would have brought the cat inside, but our cat and their cat didn't get along. Also, their cat was skittish because she had been ostracized from her very own home. As the weeks went by, we fed the cat a couple of times a day and eventually we could bring the cat into our lower basement room to take a nap on Gary's lap. She'd fall asleep instantly and later climb in the daybed for a few peaceful hours.

Meanwhile we were visiting the wife in a nearby hospital a distance away. I remember the day we went to visit; we saw no cards or flowers or anything personal for the wife. We had brought a bouquet for her bedside table that first visit at the new hospital. On subsequent visits we brought her large print books to read. We also let her call her husband on our cell phone. She hadn't spoken to him since he was hospitalized.

Later when we got back home, we talked to the husband on the phone, and he told us his wife had covid. That very day we had been allowed to visit the wife and there was no sign on her room door excluding visitors or any type of warning. In fact, a person just exiting the room said it was ok to visit her. We called the hospital and said we were concerned. Their actual response to me was "well are you concerned when you go to Walmart or the grocery store?" I couldn't believe their response. Later, supposedly the wife recovered from covid. Then all of a sudden, we were told by the hospital we couldn't visit the wife because the family had put a password for visitors. Imagine that; we were incredulous. I spoke to nursing administration and to the case manager to no avail.

Then we saw the real estate sign go up in front of their home and photos being taken. Meanwhile we were still taking care of the cat and feeding her. No one ever called for the cat or asked us where she was. No one cared for the wife's constant companion. Our neighbor's house sold right away, and was due to close soon. Next thing we knew the wife was taken to Arizona to the daughter's house. We saw the son load a few personal items into a small U-Haul trailer and leave again. On the phone, the husband said the son was giving everything else in the home away to some stranger. Mind you, the husband had a new blower, weed-eater, riding lawn mower, lots of tools, and machinery, not to mention all the furniture. We couldn't believe they were so lazy or so rich they didn't feel the need to even sell the most valuable items. Then the husband told us on the phone the son was buying a huge house in Texas for all of them to live in together. The house in Texas closed on April 11. The husband told us he would soon be leaving for Texas.

The whole time the husband has been in the hospital no one has gotten him out of bed, He had to beg for a shower after two weeks in the hospital. After being transferred to the VA hospital he has still never been gotten out of bed except one time to take a shower. He can no longer walk on his own at all. In addition, he has acquired a flesh-eating bacterium on his foot from the shower. They have threatened to amputate his foot. Today the husband said he will be leaving this coming Monday for Texas near Waco. He is not relishing traveling all that way in a car, but he has no say in the matter.

During this whole saga we were stressed out to the max. Additionally we realized we needed to assure a more mindful transition for ourselves should something happen to us. We also wanted to outline what should happen to our possessions, and especially make arrangements for our cat's well-being. We quickly got an appointment with a lawyer and got everything settled in writing. If you are old or young or in-between, please make arrangements for what your wishes are, because you never know what may happen in too many ways to contemplate. Most of the scenarios are not very pleasant to say the least.